If you've just happened on this blog, please note that it's presently being put together. I'm busy researching and writing at the moment and will add scenes as I complete them. This blog is not being advertised at present because I want to finish at least three plays before I do so. You can understand that I need to work on setting up the blog first before it's released into the public domain. 'THE TEMPEST' and 'ROMEO AND JULIET' are now finished. I'm writing the next play.
Thanks for your patience.

The Tempest; Act 11

A C T 11
Scene 1 (Another part of the island).
Enter Alonso, Sebastian, Antonio, Gonzalo, Adrian, Francisco and others.

Alonzo, Gonzalo Francisco and Adrian are having a separate discussion while Antonio and  Sebastian seem to be talking quietly with each other. The two conversations are recorded side by side because they’re taking place simultaneously. The two latter characters are poking fun at the seriousness of the others.

Gonzalo. Guys, surely you've got to be happy about this. We’ve escaped with our lives, so this is reason enough to celebrate, right? Every day some sailor’s wife or some owner of a merchant ship gets the news of the devastation we just experienced. Except, unlike us, they’re not blessed with the miracle we've had. Men, we have to look at the big picture here.

Alonso. Shhh.

Sebastian. (Aside to Antonio) Alonso doesn’t know how to count his blessings.

Antonio. (Aside to Sebastian) Bad boy.

Sebastian. Watch this. Gonzalo's not going to let that go so easily.

Gonzalo. Sir

Sebastian. (Aside to Antonio) Here he goes.

Gonzalo. Grief is the very thing that helps a person appreciate joy when it comes his way.

Sebastian. Cash.

Gonzalo. Cash too. You don’t know how true a word that is.

Sebastian. Hang on. I wasn’t serious. Just kidding around.

Gonzalo. (Back to king Alonso) Therefore, sir....

Antonio. Oh, why doesn’t he shut up already.

Alonso. Spare me the talk.

Gonzalo. Well, I have tried, Sir, but...

Sebastian. Yet you can’t stop.

Antonio. Let’s bet which one, he or Adrian, will start talking first.

Sebastian. I say, the old man.

Antonio. My money's on the younger one.

Sebastian. Done! And what are we betting?

Antonio. The winner gets to laugh at the loser.

Sebastian. You’re on.

Adrian. You know, guys. This island seems to be deserted.

Antonio. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Sebastian. There. You’re paid.

Adrian. Uninhabitable, and almost inaccessible...

Sebastian. Yet...

Adrian. Yet...

Antonio. He can’t help himself.

Adrian. Yet, there’s a nice, kind of serene air to the place.

Antonio. Serene is a lovely girl.

Adrian. The air here in this place is so fresh.

Sebastian. Yes, as fresh as someone with rotten lungs.

Antonio. Or as fresh as goat’s perfume.

Gonzalo. At least it seems to have everything we need for life.

Antonio. Except the means to live.

Sebastian. You got that right.

Gonzalo. Look how lush the grass is.

Antonio. Are you kidding? The ground is brown and dry.

Sebastian. Except for that one spot of green.

Antonio. You don’t miss much, Gonzalo.

Sebastian. No, except for everything that’s actually true.

Gonzalo. I mean, it’s rare and unique here beyond words.

Sebastian. Many rare things are beyond words.

Gonzalo. Take our clothes when they were drenched. One could say they were stained in salt water, or that they were newly-dyed in salt water.

Antonio. If one of your pockets could speak, it would say that you’re lying.

Gonzalo. No. I think our clothes are as fresh as when we first put them on at the king’s daughter’s wedding when she married the King of Tunisa.

Sebastian. It was a super wedding.

Adrian. Tunisa had never before seen such a fantastic queen.

Gonzalo. Not since widow Dido’s time.

Antonio. Widow? That’s rubbish. How come she’s widow Dido?

Sebastian. It’s like saying widower Aeneas. Good lord. No one refers to them like that.

Adrian. Widow Dido was of Carthage not Tunisa.

Gonzalo. Tunisa was Cartage.

Adrian. Cartage?

Gonzalo. I’m certain of it.

Antonio. He’s blowing his own trumpet again.

Sebastian. He could do anything with just his bare hands.

Antonio. What impossible thing will he say he can do next.

Sebastian. Let's see. I think he’ll carry this island home in his pocket and give it to his son to eat like an apple.

Antonio. And then he’ll plant the seeds in the sea and grow more little islands.

Gonzalo. Why not.

Antonio. And quite right too.

Gonzalo. (Aside to Alonso) Sir, we were just talking about our clothes and how they seem as fresh as when we wore them to your daughter’s wedding, who's now queen of Tunisa.

Antonio. And the best queen they’ve ever had too.

Sebastian. Except widow Dido, of course. We can’t forget her.

Antonio. Oh, widow Dido. Ay widow Dido.

Gonzalo. Sir, isn’t my gown as fresh as the first time I wore it? Sort of.

Antonio. ‘Sort of’ is right.

Gonzalo. When I wore it at your daughter’s wedding in Africa.

Alonso. You chatter about all these things to me; trying to get me to answer you. Can’t you see I’m not really interested in them. I wish I’d never married my daughter there. This has happened only because I’m returning from there. Now I’ve lost my son, and in my opinion, her too. She’s so far away from Italy. I may never see her again. My heir of Naples and Milan is now somewhere in a fish’s belly.

Francisco. Sir, he may still be alive. I saw him swimming above the waves. He’s a very strong swimmer. He kept himself above water and was heading for shore. I’m sure he reached the land.

Alonso. No, no. He’s gone.

Sebastian (To Alonso) Sir, this loss may not be a bad thing. After all, you wouldn’t be very popular in Europe with your daughter. You’ve lost her to an African. Well, at least you can’t see her, the person who caused this mess on us in the first place.

Alonso. Please, just shut up.

Sebastian. You were stubborn that this had to be done. Claribel didn’t want be married, but was torn in her duty to be obedient to you. Now, look, we’ve lost your son, not to mention, Milan and Naples. Now have more widows in them because of this horrible event. We can’t provide the men for the women there. It’s your fault entirely.

Alonso. I know. I feel really terrible about it.

Gonzalo. Mr. Sebastian, Should you be saying all this now? You should be comforting him, not rubbing salt in his wounds.

Sebastian. Whatever.

Antonio. Exactly.

Gonzalo. (To Alonso) we’re all in a foul mood, Sir.

Sebastian. (Aside to Antonio) Fowl mood?

Antonio (Aside to Sebastian) Very fowl.

Gonzalo. Sir, if only I owned this land....

Antonio. He’d sow some nettle seeds.

Sebastian. And flowers.

Gonzalo. If I were the king here, you know what I’d do?

Sebastian. Not getting drunk because you had no wine?

Gonzalo. I would have no borders, no immigration office. I’d have no trade or lawyers or courts. No riches, poverty, nor use of servants. I’d have no boundaries, inheritance, no agriculture, no weapons. I’d have no corn or wine, oil or jobs. Each man would be free. Women would be free too, but innocent and pure. There would be no sovereignty.

Sebastian. But he would be king.

Antonio. The end of his commonwealth forgets the beginning.

Gonzalo. All things left to nature should produce without anyone forcing them to. I will have no treason, felony, sword, pike, knife, gun, or need for any weapons. Nature should produce of its own kind in abundance to feed my innocent people.

Sebastian. No marrying among his subjects?

Antonio. No. They’ll all be lazy bums.

Gonzalo. I would be the best leader alive.

Sebastian. (Loudly) Save his Majesty!

Antonio. (Loudly) Long live King Gonzalo.

Gonzalo. Are you guys mocking me?

Alonso. Please, don’t say any more. My mind is elsewhere. I can't think straight.

Gonzalo. Oh, I’m just joking. I just said that so that those two weaklings could laugh. They laugh at everything.

Antonio. We’re laughing at you.

Gonzalo. I couldn’t care less. Just go on laughing at nothing like you usually do.

Antonio. Ooh. You’ve put us in our places.

Sebastian. You're the man.

Gonzalo. You men are alright. You’re strong guys. You would lift the moon out of her sphere if she didn’t change for five weeks straight.

            Enter Ariel (invisible) playing solemn music.

Sebastian. We would use the moon as a lamp to go hunt for stupid fowls, like some people we know.

Antonio. Don’t get angry now.

Gonzalo. You know, I’m not about to waste my time on you two fools. Just laugh me to sleep, why don't you. I feel a bit tired now.

Antonio. Go to sleep now.

          All sleep except Alonso, Sebastian and Antonio.

Alonso. What, Everyone’s asleep already? I wish I could too, but my heart is so heavy, it’s not easy to get rest. I think I feel slightly tired now.

Sebastian. It’s difficult to sleep when you’re grieving. If you feel tired, you should grab the opportunity because it doesn’t come around often in your state of mind.

Antonio. The two of us will guard you and keep you safe while you’re asleep.

                      Alonso sleeps, Exit Ariel

Sebastian. It’s weird how they all seem so drowsy at the same time.

Antonio. It’s the sea air.

Sebastian. Why doesn’t it affect us, then? I’m not sleepy.

Antonio. Me neither. They all went to sleep at the same time as if someone pressed a button. Almost like a lightning struck them. Hang on, Sebastian. Let me see. I can imagine a crown on your head.

Sebastian. Are you dreaming or still awake?

Antonio. Can’t you hear me talking?

Sebastian. Yes. But all that is a dream and nothing else.

Antonio. My friend, where is your ambition? You have to grab fortune with both hands.

Sebastian. Hmmm. I think I definitely hear you snoring now, friend.

Antonio. I know I’m always joking around, but I’m serious now. You have to seriously consider what I said. You know you could be a lot further up than you are now.

Sebastian. I’m all ears.

Antonio. Listen.

Sebastian. Alright.Go on, then.

Antonio. I can tell from the way you play all this down that you secretly care about it a lot. People do that when they’re scared.

Sebastian. I can see this means a lot to you and you’ve given it deep thought.

Antonio. You know Francisco, Alonso little sidekick. He’s persuaded the king that his son isn’t actually dead. He said that he’s sure he would’ve swum to land. I think he’s crazy. It’s impossible that the king’s son is still alive.

Sebastian. I think he’s dead too.

Antonio. See, Ferdinand’s death brings you an opportunity. He’s gone forever, right?

Sebastian. Totally.

Antonio. Then, tell me. Who’s the next heir of Naples?

Sebastian. Claribel.

Antonio. She’s now the queen of Tunisia. It’s like she’s in Timbuktu. She’s never going to know about any of this unless someone sends a messenger. And we ourselves know the danger of this sea between where she is and where we are. Whatever the future holds is in your hands and mine. Whatever she is told is in our hands.

Sebastian. Okay, it’s true that my niece is far away and all that. But what are you saying here?

Antonio. Look. See how they’re dead to the world right now? They could all be actually dead and whatever happened from now on wouldn’t mean anything to them either way. There are other people who can rule Naples as well as our king over there. There are also other noble men who can talk as much rubbish as Gonzalo, the old councillor. I know I can waste as much time talking nonsense as much as he can. If only you thought like I do. This strange sleep they’re in, is a gift to you. Do you see what I’m saying?

Sebastian. I think so.

Antonio. And what're you going to do about this good luck?

Sebastian. I remember you overthrew your own brother, Prospero.

Antonio. True. And look how good it’s been for me. Life couldn’t be better. My brother’s servants were once my colleagues, now they’re my employees.

Sebastian. But what about your conscience?

Antonio. What’s that? It’s like a mole at the bottom of my foot. I don’t feel any regrets. Look. Here’s your brother. He’s no better than that earth he lies on. He already appears dead. And with this three inch blade, I can make that real. Don’t let him get in your way to the top. For the rest of the men, they’ll readily say whatever we said happened.

Sebastian. I’ll take your example. In the same way you got Milan, I’ll get Naples. Draw your sword. Just one stroke is the difference between you paying taxes or not. And you’ll be in my good books.

Antonio. Let’s draw together. When I raise my hand, you do so as well. I’ll stab the king and you’ll kill Gonzalo at the same time.

                                  (They draw their swords)

Sebastian. Wait a minute.

                         Enter Ariel (invisible) with music and song.

Ariel. My master has seen all this. He sees his friend in danger and has sent me to keep you alive. (Sings in Gonzalo’s ear).

While you here do snoring lie,
Open-eyed conspiracy
His time doth take.
If of life you keep a care,
Shake off slumber and be aware.
Awake! Awake!

Antonio. Let us both be sudden.

Gonzalo. (Wakes) Now good angels. Save the king! (The others awake).

Alonso. What’s happened? Why have you drawn your swords? Why do you look like that?

Gonzalo. What’s the matter?

Sebastian. While we were guarding you we heard a terrible noise like bulls - or maybe they were lions - roaring. Didn’t you hear them? The noise is still ringing in my ears.

Alonso. I didn’t hear anything.

Antonio. Oh, it was really awful. I’m pretty sure it was an entire pack of lions.

Alonso. Did you hear anything, Gonzalo?

Gonzalo. I just heard a strange sort of humming. That’s what woke me up. I woke you up and shouted. That’s when I saw them with their weapons drawn. Perhaps we should all stand guard with our weapons drawn. Or maybe we should leave this place.

Alonso. Let’s get going then. I want to search for my poor son.

Gonzalo. Hope he’s protected from these beasts. I’m sure he’s right here on this island.

Alonso. Lead the way.

Ariel. Prospero will know what I’ve done. So, King go safely to look for your son.


Scene II
(Another part of the Island)
Enter Caliban with a handful of wood. A noise of thunder is heard.

Caliban. May all the infections of the entire earth fall on Prospero and make every inch of him diseased. I know his spirits hear me, but I can’t help cursing. They scare me and pinch me all over when he tells them to. He sets them on me for any little thing. They bite me and sting me like snakes. They hiss at me till I want to go mad.

Enter Trinculo the jester.

There comes one of his spirits to torment me for fetching wood too slowly. I’ll lie down. Maybe he won’t see me.
(He lies down)

Trinculo. There are no trees or shrubs to prevent the wind from lashing around. There’s another storm brewing. I can tell with all those dark clouds beginning to settle. But without any shelter, where shall I hide. (He sees Caliban on the ground) What do we have here, a man or a fish? Dead or alive? He smells like rotting fish, but what a strange kind of fish. If I were in England, I’d put it in a freak show. They wouldn’t give a penny to a beggar, but they surely will fish out large amounts to look at some freak. It’s got legs like a man, but fins for arms! This is no fish, but an Islander who’s been hit by lightning. (Thunder) The storm is here again. My best bet is to creep under his cloak as there is no other shelter nearby. The things we do when we’re scared! I’ll hide under here until the storm has passed. (Creeps under Caliban’s cloak).

Enter drunk Stephano singing with a bottle in his hand.
     I shall no more to sea, to sea.
     Here shall I die ashore.
This is a very suitable song to sing at a funeral. Never mind, I’ve got my comfort right here. (Drinks)
     The shipmaster, the cleaner, the boatswain and I,
     The gunner and his mate,
     Loved Mall, Meg, Marian and Margery,
     But none of us cared for Kate.
     For she had a tongue with a tang,
     Would shout to a sailor, ‘Go Hang.’
     She loved not the smell of tar nor of pitch;
     Yet a tailor might scratch her wherever she did itch.
     Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

This is a good tune too; and here is my comfort. (Drinks)

Caliban. (Speaking to Trinculo who’d crawled under the his cloak for shelter. He thinks he’s one of Prospero’s spirits who’s come to pinch him). Don’t hurt me!

Stephano. What’s the matter? Have we got devils here? I didn’t escape drowning to be scared of your four legs.

Caliban. The spirit torments me!

Stephano. This must be a four-legged monster from the island. He’s probably got a fever. How on earth did he learn our language? For that alone I’ll help him. If I can cure him and tame him, I could take him back to Naples as a present for my emperor.

Caliban. Please don’t hurt me. I promise I’ll bring the wood home faster.

Stephano. He’s in a crazy fit now. I will give him a taste of my drink. Even if he’s never had wine before, it will surely heal his fit. If I can sort him out and tame him, he’ll be worth a lot of money to whoever has him.

Caliban. You’re not hurting me much right now. But I’m sure you’ll start very soon. I know it because you’re trembling. That’s exactly how Prospero’s spirits work.

Stephano. Come on, open your mouth. You think you can talk. Wait till you’ve had a swallow of this. Open your mouth. This will cure whatever you’ve got. I can tell you that for sure. (Gives Caliban a drink) Open up again.

Trinculo. I think I know that voice. But it can’t be. He’s drowned. I’m sure of it. It must be a spirit. Help!

Stephano. Oooh. Four legs and two voices! A super monster. Its better voice is to speak well and its worse voice is for nasty talk. If I’ve got to give it all the wine in my bottle to cure it, I will. (Gives drink). Come on. Open up! I’ll pour some of this baby into your other mouth.

Trinculo. Stephano?

Stephano. Wow! Your other mouth’s calling me. This is no monster. This is a devil. I’m off in that case. Don’t want dealings with devils.

Trinculo. Stephano? If you’re Stephano, don’t be scared of me. I’m your good friend, Trinculo. You know me, right?

Stephano. If you’re Trinculo, come out. I’ll pull you out by your smaller legs. I think these ones are your legs. (Draws him out from under Caliban’s cloak). My goodness! You are Trinculo. What’re you doing under this monstrosity?

Trinculo. I hid under him to get away from the storm. I thought you’d drown,

Stephano. Is the storm over now? I can’t believe us two Neapolitans escaped!

Stephano. Don’t jump up and down with me like that. My stomach’s not too good at the moment.

Caliban. (Aside) These two are not spirits after all. That one is pretty brave and carries some mighty good liquor. I’ll bow to him.

Stephano. So, tell me, how did you escape? How did you get here? I grabbed onto a wine barrell the sailors had dumped overboard. When I got here, I made this bottle from the bark of a tree, with my very own hands.

Caliban. I swear if I could get my hand on that drink, I’d be your servant forever. That’s some good wine.

Stephano. So tell me how you escaped, Trinculo.

Triniculo. I swam ashore, man. I can swim like a duck. I swear to you.

Stephano. Here, kiss the book (gives him a drink).

Triniculo. Have you got any more of this drink?

Stephano. The whole barrel, man. I’ve got a me a little cave over by some rocks by the seaside. I’ve hidden the wine there. How’s your fever now, monster? (To Caliban).

Caliban. Have you dropped from heaven?

Stephano. Out of the moon. I assure you. I used to be the man in the moon, you know.

Caliban. I’ve seen you in her. I adore you. My mistress showed you to me. I saw your dog too.

Stephano. I like that, man. Come, kiss the book. (Gives him a drink). Drink up, I’ll go get us some more. (Caliban drinks).

Trinculo. You know, now that I can see him, this monster is not that scary after all. He even believes there is a man in the moon. Look at him drink that wine.

Caliban. I’ll show you guys the best places on the Island. I’ll worship you, man. Please be my god.

Trinculo. Boy! You’re sly one. When I’m asleep you’ll steal my wine.

Caliban. Come on! I’ll kiss your foot. I’ll swear to be subjected to you.

Stephano. Okay then. Drink up and swear.

Trinculo. What a pathetic monster you’ve turned out to be. I could easily beat you up...

Stephano. Come on! Kiss my foot, already.

Trinculo. ...But you’re so drunk, it’s pathetic.

Caliban. I’ll show you the best springs. I’ll even pick some berries for you. I’ll fish for you and get you wood, and everything. To hell with my old master. I ain’t doing anything for him no more. I’m serving you now. You’re great. And you've got drinks.

Trinculo. You’re funny. But still. I think you make a great drunk.

Caliban. Please let me take you to the apple trees. And with my long nails, I’ll dig the earthnuts out for you. Then, I’ll show you the Jay’s nest and show you how to catch your food. I’ll show you where the birds hang out and sometimes I’ll catch a couple for your dinner. Will you come with me?

Stephano. Oh yes! Why not. Lead the way, and stop talking, will you. (To Trinculo) the King and everyone else is dead, so we’ll inherit this island. (To Caliban) Here, carry my bottle. (To Trinculo) We’ll fill him up with more wine soon.

(Caliban sings drunkenly)

Caliban. Farewell, master. Farewell, master.

Trinculo. A howling, drunken monster!

Caliban. No more dams I’ll make for fish

No more fetch or firing

At requiring

Nor scrape wooden plates, nor wash dishes.

Ban, Ban, Ca-Caliban

Has a new master. You get a new man.

Freedom day! Freedom day!

Stephano. Lead the way, brave monster.


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A translation of Shakespeare's plays designed for noughties' teenagers and youngsters.
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